The Pattern Library™ Podcast

Why Saying Yes Too Fast Ruins Your Day

Elizabeth Garrison

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0:00 | 6:52

You thought it was a small yes.

A quick response.
A harmless agreement.
A “sure, I can do that.”

But now your whole day is adjusting around something you barely even stopped to think about.

In this episode, Elizabeth breaks down the hidden emotional cost of answering too fast — and why high-functioning women often feel rushed, irritated, and emotionally stretched before they even realize what caused it.

Because it’s usually not the big commitments ruining your day.

It’s the fast ones.

And once you see the pattern…
you can’t unsee it.

 Catch the moment before it answers for you:
 The First Pause

Before your next week starts…
look back for the moments you answered too fast.

The pattern usually shows up before you realize it. 

Catch the moment before it answers for you:
The First Pause

SPEAKER_00

Have you ever been on the treadmill, finally in your own head for a second, and got your headphones in, listening to your tunes, jamming away, and you're just starting to settle into that workout of yours, and then out of nowhere, something you agreed to pops into your head, and you catch yourself thinking, when did I say yes to that? You see, you're not stressed or overwhelmed about it. You're just like, that didn't need to be mine. Hey y'all, welcome back to the Sacred Return Podcast. I'm your host, Elizabeth Garrison, and this week we're talking about something that doesn't feel like a decision when it happens, but somehow it ends up taking up your time anyway. Why you say yes? You say yes before you check what it costs you. And I really want you to think about that for a second because it doesn't show up in the way you think it would. It like it's not some big obvious moment where you go and sit down and say, hmm, okay, well, let me decide if I want to commit to this. You see, it's it's probably quite the opposite. It's fast and it's casual. It's like in between everything else you've already got going on. Like you're sitting in your car for a second before you put it in a drive, and and you're remembering you told someone earlier that you'd quote, handle it later, but you don't even remember thinking about it when you said it. Or you're walking through the grocery store, wandering the aisles, if you're like me, kind of zoning out, probably walking up the same aisle for the third time, trying to remember what you actually came in there for, and then it hits you. The something that you added to your date earlier without even checking to see if it made sense. And this one, this one always gets me. I'm answering a message while I'm moving between project A and project C, not really fully paying attention, just trying to keep all the balls juggling and things from backing up. And before I even process it, I've already said yes. And you see, that's the part that's so easy to miss. Because it's nothing about that moment that really that feels like a decision. You see, there's no pause and it doesn't feel like there's any weight to it. There's no sense of this is really gonna affect my day. It just feels like you answered and then you keep on moving on. And this is where it starts to get frustrating, y'all, because in the moment it really does feel harmless. It feels like this is quick and it's easy and it's not really that big of a deal. And you trust that feeling. But what you didn't do was give yourself a second to check anything that you had going on. See, I bet you didn't check to see what your time looked like and to see if your energy levels were high or low, and you didn't even check to see what you already had going on in your day or things that you haven't even dealt with yet. And I bet you you didn't see if you even wanted to do it. But that answer was already out of your mouth before you even gave yourself a second. And y'all, that's the shift, because now it's taking your time, which means something else gets pushed, or that other project gets delayed. Or how about that thing that you really meant to do? Now it doesn't happen the way that you planned on doing it, and then it turns into your responsibility. Now that quick yes isn't a quick yes, it's someone's expecting something from you, and now you need to follow up on something else, and guess what? Now you gotta remember on all the follow-through. Now it's not just a quick yes, now it became someone's expecting something from you, and now you need to follow up on this project or issue, and now it's one more thing for you to remember. And then before you even really register what happened, it became yours. You see, now you're the one that's carrying it and tracking it, and the one that's thinking about it, because the person that handed it off to you, they're not thinking about it anymore. And later, that's when it actually lands. When you're sitting in your car having that moment of zoning out, or you finally just sit down for a second, and that's when it comes back into your head. I didn't even check before I said yes. And there's the split second when you realize I wouldn't have chosen this if I had actually thought about it. And that's a weird feeling. Because y'all, it's not regret in a big dramatic way. It's just a quiet awareness that something else got added to your life without your full permission. And here the frustrating part is, you're not trying to overcommit and fill up your schedule, and you're not sitting there thinking, hey, well let me take on a few more things that I don't really want to do. You see, you're just moving fast and answering even faster. You're keeping things from getting awkward, disappointing people, letting them down, and you're keeping things from slowing down too, keeping things from piling up in the moment. And in doing all of that, things get added to your life before you ever even decide if they belong there. And over time, that shit adds up, y'all. Not in a big obvious way, but in small, constant shifts. You see your time gets a little more crunched, and your energy probably starts to wane, and your days, they start to feel like they're not fully yours anymore. It's not because you don't have control, but it's probably because decisions are getting made before you're even aware of making them. And let's be honest, y'all, nobody wakes up thinking, you know what I'd love to do today? Let's just add a few extra things that I didn't plan on doing. And yet somehow, that's exactly what happens. Because it's not the big things, it's never the big ones, it's the quick ones, the quick yes, the easy yes, the real quick moments that ever naturally that never actually stay real quick. You see, you didn't give yourself a second to see what it would cost you. And once that moment passes, y'all, there's not really another chance to choose. You just end up following through on something that already became yours. And most of the time, y'all don't even notice when it happens. And even when you start catching it, you'll still find yourself doing it over and over again because it's that automatic. So if that already happened today, that's the moment I'm talking about. The pause is small, but the return is powerful.